Demystifying Trauma, a Word People Often Misunderstand
When many people hear the word trauma, they think of big, obvious events—an accident, assault, war, or a natural disaster.
Those experiences can absolutely be traumatic.
But in mental health, “trauma” can also describe something far more common and often less visible: the ongoing impact of experiences that overwhelm the nervous system, especially when there’s no safe way to process what happened at the time.
This matters, because people frequently dismiss their struggles with thoughts like:
- “It wasn’t that bad.”
- “Other people had it worse.”
- “I should be over this by now.”
If that sounds familiar, this article is for you.
Trauma isn’t only what happened. It’s what happened inside you
A practical way to think about trauma is this:
Trauma is what remains in the system when an experience couldn’t be fully processed—especially when the body and mind had to switch into survival mode.
That survival mode might look like:
- fight (anger, agitation, conflict)
- flight (busyness, perfectionism, avoidance)
- freeze (numbness, shutdown, “stuckness”)
- fawn (people-pleasing, appeasing, losing your voice)
Sometimes the original event is easy to name. Other times, it’s not one event—it’s a long period of stress, instability, emotional pressure, or feeling unsafe.
“Big T” and “small t” trauma (and why the distinction can be misleading)
You may have heard people talk about:
- “Big T” trauma: major, life-threatening or violent events
- “small t” trauma: experiences that aren’t necessarily life-threatening but still leave a lasting emotional imprint
This language can be helpful—until it becomes a reason to minimise your pain.
Because the nervous system doesn’t measure trauma by comparing your story to someone else’s. It responds to whether something felt overwhelming, unsafe, or inescapable—and whether the emotional charge was able to resolve afterward.
How subtle or cumulative trauma can develop
Trauma can be cumulative, subtle, or long-term—especially when the nervous system has had to stay in survival mode for a long time.
This can happen through experiences like:
- growing up with chronic criticism, instability, or emotional unpredictability
- being responsible too early (parentification)
- repeated relationship ruptures or betrayal
- bullying or social exclusion
- persistent workplace stress or toxic dynamics
- caregiving burnout without support
- ongoing fear, uncertainty, or feeling “on edge” for years
You don’t have to label your life as traumatic for your symptoms to be trauma-driven.
Common signs your symptoms may be trauma-related
Many people seek help not because they identify with “trauma,” but because they’re living with symptoms such as:
- overwhelm, anxiety, or panic
- depressive symptoms or emotional numbness
- hypervigilance (always scanning for danger)
- avoidance behaviours (shrinking your life to feel safe)
- sleep disturbances, nightmares, or constant fatigue
- relationship reactivity (shutting down, exploding, or people-pleasing)
These patterns can have many contributing factors—but when they persist despite insight, effort, or talk therapy alone, unresolved emotional charge is often part of the picture.
The key question: what’s driving the symptoms?
Rather than debating whether something “counts” as trauma, a more useful question is:
Are your current symptoms being driven by unresolved emotional charge in your system?
If your reactions feel bigger than the present moment…
If you “know” you’re safe but your body doesn’t agree…
If the same triggers keep producing the same intense responses…
…it may not be a willpower issue. It may be an unprocessed charge issue.
Where TRTP fits (in simple terms)
TRTP (The Richards Trauma Process) views trauma broadly, because trauma responses often show up as everyday mental health struggles—anxiety, low mood, overwhelm, avoidance, reactivity, emotional numbness.
TRTP is designed to help resolve unresolved emotional charge so the nervous system can stop responding as if the past is still happening.
Many people find that once charge reduces, they can:
- think more clearly
- feel more stable in relationships
- sleep better
- experience less reactivity
- feel more present and less “on guard”
If you’re unsure whether “trauma” applies to you
You don’t need the perfect label to start getting help.
If you’re dealing with symptoms that keep pulling you into survival mode, it’s worth exploring support that addresses the underlying drivers—not just coping strategies for the surface experience.
A gentle next step
If you’d like to understand whether TRTP could be relevant for what you’re experiencing, you can reach out via our contact page.
Related pages:
FAQ
Is trauma only caused by extreme events?
No. Extreme events can cause trauma, but trauma can also be cumulative or subtle—especially when the nervous system stays in survival mode for long periods.
Can I have trauma symptoms even if I had a “good life”?
Yes. People can function well externally and still carry unresolved charge that shows up as anxiety, overwhelm, numbness, sleep issues, or relationship reactivity.
How do I know if my anxiety is trauma-related?
A clue is when anxiety feels disproportionate to current circumstances, repeats around specific triggers, or persists despite insight and effort.
